Mud, Fire, Darkness and Fun

16 02 2011

Recently the hate2run boys and team members flocked to Lake Wales FL in order to participate in the first annual Warrior Dash.

After a short 2.5 hour drive we arrived at the Triple Canopy Ranch, host to the Warrior Dash. We quickly made our presence known and claimed our camping space.  The team mixed up some libations and began the tedious task of setting up our tents. The boys dumped out everything on the ground into a big pile and soon after tent poles began to fly while the ladies laid out the tent parts neatly and lined up the poles according to lengths and locations. The boys refused to read the directions and on the other side they had one girl reading the instructions and two following them…You can imagine the results – the guys had their tents up, started cooking dinner and poured several drinks while watching the girls finish (take pole A and insert it into tent slot B and so on and so forth).

Saturday morning arrived with the smell of eggs and bacon cooking. The team gathered to pick up race packages and returned to camp in order to change into our racing gear and have photographs taken by the team photographer.  It did not take long for us to pull out the Flabongo and include it as part of the pre-race activities.

We rushed to the starting line, received final instructions and in a matter of minutes the hate2run team took off like little rabbits leaving El Shuffler behind to fend for himself.

Mud mud mud. Up and over. Down and under. More mud and water.  Cargo nets. Tires. Bales of hay. Cars. Ropes and more mud before the big finale…fire jumping and a large mud pond.

Hugs around at the finish line went quickly in order to donate our dirty shoes and rush to eat, drink, socialize and plan the next adventure for the hate2run boys and A team.

We welcome the new members of the hate2run nation and acknowledge we may have scared them a bit but know they will be back for more.

Hate2Run highly recommends the Warrior Dash series and looks forward to the ToughMudder in Georgia.

El Slugger is an Ironman

11 02 2011


Over this past summer/spring  El Slugger has been working to complete his IRONMAN distance triathlon. 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile Bike and 26.2 mile run broken down into small segments. He worked very hard with early morning 1 mile runs, numerous 5 mile bike rides and endless laps in the pool. But he progressed none the less.

El Slugger finished this huge accomplishment with a small triathlon to mark the accomplishment – 150 yds pool swim, 5 mile bike and a 1 mile run. Several of his friends joined him for the mini triathlon with him during each part of the race. All finishers received medals and joined the fun at the BBQ.

Getting down-‘n-dirty – Muddy Buddy Miami 2010

2 12 2010

The Colombia Muddy Buddy Logo2 “athletes”, 1 mountain bike, 3 obstacles and a giant mud pit…hmmm…what could be more fun? As it turns out, NOTHING!!!

Of course El Conquistador and El Shuffler teamed up to race while A-Team also showed up team.

The morning started out to early courtesy of El Shuffler. We arrived at the Miami Zoo at 6am, about 2 hours before we actually needed to be there (another one of El Shuffler’s greatest ideas). Picked up our packets, prepared our bikes and were ready to go. Except we still had two hours until start time so we do the obvious, 4 trips to the port potties and mingle with the other competitors.

There were a ton of people in costume (note to self – next year we need costumes) but we had an extra “team mate” riding on our bike (aka El Conquistador’s babe). With time to spare we tried out our new flabongo and as it turns out Conquistador has been out of college longer then we realized based on the results. So the A-Team screamed party foul and he had to redeem himself.

Hundreds of teams toed the line before the horn blows off marking the start. We are in the 2nd wave (thanks to El Shufflers age) which meant there weren’t a lot of people ahead of us. Off we go pedaling hard and chatting with our bike babe (turns out it was a  GREAT idea to have her along; not only was she great company but she made finding our bike in transition a breeze). El Conquistador picks up the bike at T1 and makes his wasy to T2. With El Shuffler now running (and yes folks he was actually passing people that were NOT walking) and almost at T2 he is greeted by the world famous hate2run call – KAA KAA!!! And so the leap frogging begins.

Before you know it El Conquistador is patiently waiting for El Shuffler in order to tackle the final obstacle – THE MUD PIT. It is obvious that El Shuffler got distracted with the giraffes as it took him a bit too long to arrive. Finally he is spotted with our bike babe on board ready for the mud.  It is obvious that we are not attacking the pit on our hands and knees, we do the army crawl head first into the mud. We are swimming in mud all the way to the finish line.

El Shuffler forgot to close his eyes in the mud pit (Note to self: Bring goggles next time) so a quick stop at the eye rinse station was required. Covered with mud and dirt we got out picture taken and off to the showers!

Back to the finish line to see the A-Team finish and guide them to the shower. It was chaos in the shower area with over a hundred mud bathed, half naked mudthletes trying to rinse off. It was successful race for all involved. Obviously the next stop was the Red Hook Beer tent. We networked with other folks and funny enough a large number of them will be at Warrior Dash in January.

We have signed up for next year…let’s get 10 hate2run teams to sign up.

PS – Big shout out to Sweet Leaf Tea and the Columbia Teams!

Tony Kanaan Miami 70.3 Role Model

19 11 2010

Investigative report by hate2run

Just in case you simply took us for complainers. Tony Kanaan in this video shows exactly what is wrong with WTC and how out of control the Miami 70.3 race went. Check out the video and then read our statements:

1) Kanaan was the poster child for Miami 70.3. The race directors even issued press releases for him (paying more attention than to the pros). They even feature his results on the official site:

2) Not only did we see him drafting but he admits it in the video (1:47 in the video) “We rode together the whole way” and he is filmed doing so

3) “I am already 50 minutes quicker than my previous one” (1:20 in the video) Uhmmm either there is doping involved or his blatant cheating is responsible

4) Kanaan does not even know the distance for a 70.3 race (ok ok we will let this one fly and assume he got his kilometers mixed with miles or can’t convert) “2 mile swim, 52.1 miles cycling, 13.1 miles run”. We are not the smartest tools in the shed but our math tells us that is a 67.2 mile race

5) It must be nice to have someone help you change your tires during a race. Well according to Kanaan in an article published by WTC ““The other day I got a flat on my bike and I didn’t have six people there to change it for me,” Kanaan jokes. “In triathlons, it’s all you.”” I guess he did get lucky and have a crew for the race.

WTC and Miami 70.3 organizers sent Tony Kanaan to the 70.3 World Championships in Clearwater. Maybe its just us but how do you beat your PR by 50 minutes when you have a flat tire that takes 13 minutes to change? Oh yeah by cheating. He was in the top 50 of the bike of 2:29.15. Hmmmmm come again?

Maybe the combination of cheating and racing a shorter course of 67.2 miles made all the difference.

His Miami 70.3 Results:
Swim: 44:54 T1: 3:05 Bike: 2:29:15 T2: 1:20 Run: 2:05:09 Total: 5:23:43 Rank: 401 Age Group: 70

His 70.3 Championship Results:
Swim: 37:28 T1: 3:22 Bike: 2:24:13 T2: 2:57 Run: 1:58:43 Total: 5:06:43 Rank: 1091 Age Group: 182

The only other race we could find for him – 2004 California 70.3:

Swim: 40:43 T1: 6:04 Bike: 2:45:12 T2: 4:42 Run: 2:19:35 Total: 5:56:13 Rank: 1061 Age Group: 115

By looking at the times above, can you tell us how he was only 5 minutes slower in Miami after a 13 minute delay because of the tire issue?


Find the race in which Kanaan qualified for Clearwater and you get a free Hate2Run visor. My guess is you won’t find any other way except WTC giving him a free pass since this was his third race ever according to this article and the results for his three races are posted above:

Miami 70.3 Race Report – Bridge x 8

15 11 2010

Logo for Miami 70.3 raceFor this race you get TWO race reports. The quick and dirty by El Conquistador and if you have the time you must read the novel by El Shuffler. Regardless of how the race turned out it was awesome to get the boys together for a weekend and do a race in benefit for ALS. We apologize for the delay in posting the race reports and the lack of photos of the event.

The Quick and Dirty on Miami Ironman 70.3 2010

  • What better than an Ironman 70.3 race in our backyard? We had to sign up! Especially since it was in benefit of Blazeman Foundation
  • We got our friends come and race but did not realize our friends included 2,900 triathletes.
  • Not a word from the race director until race day (oh except when they signed a new sponsor – they had over 15).
  • The production company could not make up its mind and kept us in suspense changing the race course and having maps not match text descriptions.
  • Race morning chaos with bikes missing because of lack of bike racks, people being thrown off the pier to not miss the start line.
  • Swimmers went through the race course without knowing the direction as we were only gifted with four beautiful buoys in the dark.
  • Sharp turns on the bike course, unmarked holes and bumps. Tour de France peletons without an official in sight. Unmanned aid stations and of course no ramp on the sidewalk to go up to transition.
  • But the thing we remember the most is that beautiful bridge we had to go over eight times. As El Shuffler puts it “Hey Kids, Big Ben and the Parliament” every time we hit the top. Hygiene was unimportant as athletes were scooping their own water and Gatorade from tubs. Watch your every step so you do not trip.
  • If you wanted a specific finisher t-shirt size, we can assure you that they did not have it. Finish line chaos all around. One thing we can’t complain about is the abundance of food where the race director was spotted eating more than two times.
  • Better luck next time now that WTC is taking over this race. I guess we can’t complain since we got a free entry to a 70.3 next year. At least WTC admitted the mistakes. We wonder if 5150 MIT will experience the same fate.

Tshirt Symbol

El Shuffler’s Race Report as a Novel:

This whole event started coming together almost a year ago when they announced that Miami would be hosting a half Ironman…WOO HOO a big race right in our backyard and in benefit of the Blazeman Foundation. The Phone lines and email were buzzing off the hook… El Conquistador and I wanted to host and get a bunch of the extended family down here to race…. calls went out to Team Duffy and the crew. Before we knew it, we had a nice group signed up and the race was sold out!

With the race still months away…. we could not wait to get together and expand the Hate2Run friends…The day and months flew by and training seemed to be going well with everyone (or so we were told). With a few weeks left we got an email from Team Duffy that the hate2run / hate ALS shirts were done (yes, our own group shirts to go with our visors). Team Duffy was also quick to remind El Conquistador and I that we only had a few weeks left to start our training with the race less than a month away.

Read the rest of this entry »

Miami 70.3 – Countdown Begins

22 10 2010

Well the Miami 70.3 race is 7 days away and we are ready to go.

All of the race specific training done by El Shuffler and El Conquistador have gone to waste as of this week the race course was changed. At least we have a reason for the slow times since our training was so focused. Friends will be flying in and festivities are planned for the entire weekend. Now we just need to get to the starting line and cross the finish line.

If you are in south Florida come cheer us on.

BREAKING NEWS: Visors and caps are in. We have already sold a number of them so get yours before they are gone. Remember that all profits go to ALS.

Race report for Miami 70.3 will be posted if we survive the race and festivities.

Visors + Caps for ALS

26 09 2010

We just placed an order for Visors (two types) and Caps both by Headsweat. All profits will be donated to ALS – Cure for ALS. Reserve yours today by e-mailing us or leaving a comment on this post. Limited numbers available so reserve yours today for only $23.00!

Visors by Hat2RunE-mail us at: wehate2run[at] to reserve your hat or visor! T-Shirts coming soon….

Apparently we also hate to write

21 08 2010

El Shuffler and El Conquistador have been doing their best to train for the Miami 70.3 coming up in October. In addition to the quasi training, we have been:

1) Designing the logo for the Hate2 Series

2) Finalizing the Hate2 Nation

3) Planning the 2011 Races

4) El Conquistador continually humbled by the Carols in his runs

5) Drinking some of Auntie’s secret beverage 😉

7) El Shuffler is actually swimming…can’t say the same for El Conquistador

If you want to email us do so at wehate2run[at]

Expedition Everest Challenge – Race Report

15 06 2010

By: El Shuffler

Respect the Yeti Sign

WOW…. where do I begin for this adventure…..Ok this is a race recap for the Expedition Everest Challenge…

El Conquistador arrived and we got our race uniforms together…. He had some Hate2run shirts made up and I had some visors done… now we did not have to argue about what to wear….We looked like a TEAM!!!!!!

The drive to Orlando was fast and action packed…… Took longer than expected… several “are we there yet” and “I have to visit the boys room”….hahha.. we discussed SEVERAL races that we should be doing…. ones that we wanted to add to the bucket list…. we also discussed our training plan the upcoming Miami 70.3… and with a whole bunch of ALS warriors/Friends coming down to our back yard…. we want to be ready… So after a couple hours of training talk…. we have decide what beer we will have at the after party and what kind of Pizzas we need to get…. another successful training day….

Arrival at packet pick-up brought the same excitement as always….. cools shirts and fun stuff… they even had a sample of the type of clue we could expect for the race…… And then it hit us…….OH BOY WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE… not from the lack of training (as usual) but we could NOT figure out the sample clue!!!!!!!! WE are not smarter the a 5th grader….. decision time….. use the free pass to the park and scout out the area????? or head to a sports bar to watch the World Cup????? Park, World Cup, Park, World Cup….. World Cup won….. so after some fluids to hydrate and a burger….. we settled into the match…. back and forth… a nail biter….

Time to go.. needed to get to the park…. and make a quick run through to get the lay of the lands plus ride on the rides… no wait lines… so right on to the Everest ride…… had no idea that the all mighty El Conquistador was not a big fan of roller coasters…. OOPS!!!!!! too late to turn back now….

As soon as the bar came down across our laps….. the SCHREEK was heard…. I thought it was the YETI….. nope…. just my faithful teammate Conquistador…. with a death grip on the rail… so I knew right then… there would be no hands in the air for him….:)

Photo Of Everest Ride - Animal Kingdom

After the initial shock of the first trip….. he was giddy…. “let’s do it again, let’s do it again…” OK only one more time…. then we need to get scouting…… One quick trip through the park…. looked at signs, entrances and shop name…. there were a couple I knew we would see again…..

Back to the car for a quick nap and feet up… and it was 7:30 and time to get in our wave…. we were in wave 2…. good close to the front… we would need all the time we could get to figure out the clues..

Lots of people heard whispering…..…..what’s that about?????? and they have matching visors…. the word is out there……

8:30… show time…… fireworks, count down, high five and we are off “Here we go again” the first bit had us running through a parking lot….. flash back from the Disney marathon…. not good……

5k run went well…..El Shuffler lived up to his name again….. we had 4 obstacles to complete….. balance beam, tire run.. army crawl under net and jumping over hay bales…..A guy ran by us with his wife and said he was part of our team “I hate to run but my wife forces me” to which the wife replied “He is a good husband”…

Finished the run and got our first clue…. sweat dripping off of us…. we BOTH gripped our maps of the park….and got our first clue we were on a roll now…. back into the park… head to Mickey and Minnie….

Found the next clue…. “we are cooking with propane at this point…. used the flash lights that they gave us.. (big help) because Shuffler forgot both the head lamp he bought and his reading glasses…..

Come to find out… the clues were not as bad as expected… Conquistador had them figured out rather quickly..but we were second guessing ourselves…..and lost some time there…. OH well no worries…

Four clues later and we were headed toward the finish line……. crossing the finish line….. lots of pics… got the MEDAL… it’s awesome….. AND the misadventures of the 2 locos really began….

Through the finish line…. got our water and some food, started to jam to the music and enjoy the festival…. and then Conquistador drops a BOMB!!!!!…

“hey buddy….. I lost the key to the car” and I am thinking….. ok he is just messing with me….. so i kind of blow it off…. and he says again…..”hey buddy I really lost the key to the car.. we don’t panic….. yet…… we kind of have a good idea where it might have fallen out of his pocket…… somewhere in animal Kingdom… whew…. at least that the only park we were in….. we will find it…hahhaha…. He asks a volunteer and they direct him towards the park entrance to baggage claim….. we shuffle to the entrance and then someone tells us that baggage claim is back there…..OOOOOOF!!!!!! conquistador is worried because I have to work at the hosp in the am….. and I am worried I will have to ride all the way back to West Palm in wet clothes.

So like most amusement parks with all the people…. I lost sight of Conquistador….no keys and no Conquistador….huh…… then from the hounds of hell…. I hear the A team call… KA -KA KA-KA… he had found his way into the lost and found…… “hey buddy they have my key”…. WHAT…. they have my key…
approaching the counter…. this Asian lady.. is all smiles and holding the golden key…. in all the excitement and thank you and arigato’s……I think I heard Conquistador either he wanted to kiss her… or marry her????? not sure which…. and I did not mention it on the road home…….

Back to the car vroom vroom… yes the key worked….. a quick change and off to get some food and more hydration… Hooters wings and a cold liquid… what a combo…..

El Conquistador was so excited he drove all the way home….and besides it was WAY past my bed time…

Another great adventure had by the 2 locos from Hate2Nation…..And don’t forget if you see this guy at a race…the Hate2Nation is there!

Zombie Hat2 Nation
The Zombie – Symbol of Hate2Nation
Respect the Yeti SignRespect the Yeti Sign

El Suffler

14 06 2010

You questioned his existence…Proof is here. He exists. He hates to run.

El Shuffler Photo

The Fearless Leader

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